Overaggressive parents are often a part of youth sports. Coaches and athletes – not to mention trainers, volunteers and other parents – will have to interact with them at some point.

The most important thing is to be proactive. It’s often easier to set appropriate boundaries and expectations preemptively than reactively. However, this may not always prevent over-aggressiveness, so be prepared to deal with a parent who does become that way with regard to their child’s participation.

Here are some tips on how to effectively deal that situation.

Dealing with parents (from a coach’s perspective)

• Identify and convey clear expectations and goals.
• Do this upfront and early on.
• Convey expectations of athletes AND parents. For example: Parents are not allowed on the sidelines during a game.
• Educate parents on the impact their behavior can have on their children. Parents want to be supportive but are often not educated on what a healthy level of support looks like.
• Open the communication lines.
• To ensure everyone is on the same page, set appropriate boundaries and clear expectations and goals to be met.
• Find a balance of open communication with parents but also not allowing an overaggressive parent to push boundaries or make demands.
• Determine ahead of time what your boundaries are as a coach and keep this consistent.
• Do not allow some parents greater influence or demand on your time than others.

Dealing with parents (from an athlete’s perspective)

• Keep in mind that some of these steps may be difficult for young athletes to do based on their ages and/or relationships with their parents.
• Openly communicate and discuss any concerns or worries.
• Communicate what feels helpful and supportive.
• Help a parent become aware of their behaviors.
• Encourage self-reflection.
• Discuss the impact their behavior is having on you. Is it causing pressure, anxiety, embarassment or other mood concerns.
• Set appropriate boundaries. It’s okay to let your parents know your expectations of them

These are not all-inclusive but merely guidelines for preventing parents from becoming overly aggressive and managing them if they do. Some parents may be more difficult to set boundaries with and communicate with than others. Coaches or athletes may benefit from seeking additional support and/or services in extreme cases.

Dr. Kacey Oiness is a sport and performance psychologist at St.Vincent Sports Performancein Indianapolis.