What’s a sports parent to do when your child stops playing?

By Janis Meredith | Posted 11/10/2014

The end of organized sports will be different for every athlete. Some may quit after one season when they are still small, some after middle school, some after high school, and some may make it all the way to college.

And but for everyone, it eventually ends.

For parents, it is easy for youth sports to become the focus of our world, too. It’s natural and important for parents to be involved in their kids’ lives.

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, there is a price to pay for this engagement with our children. That price is the pain we feel when we reach “The End” of sports parenting – whether it comes when our children are small or if they make it all the way through.

If you’ve loved watching your kids play as much as I do, you will feel like something has been ripped away from you. You may feel a certain sense of emptiness. What will I do with my time now?

What’s a parent to do?

When your kid quits a sport you’ve loved watching, you may experience feelings akin to grief. So how does a parent who’s loved being a sports parent deal with the grief that a child is done with sports?

  • Let yourself grieve. Maybe you’ll shed your tears in some quiet place when you are alone, but whatever you do, don’t deny the sadness. The longer you’ve been a sports parent, the harder it will be. Being a sports parent is consuming. It’s tough to give that up.
  • There’s more to life than sports. Remember how you always told your kids that? Well, now it’s time to accept it. If your child has grown and learned from the sports experience – whether it was one year or 15 years long – then sports has been a valuable ally to you as a parent. But it does not define who your child is as a person, and being a sports parent should not define you  as a person.
  • Find something else to fill the time. Be intentional about filling up the emptiness you may feel when you are no longer sitting at games, waiting after practices or volunteering in the snack bar. Enjoy the extra time connecting with your kids, find a new hobby, a new business challenge or go back to school.​​
  • Rejoice! Cherish the memories. If you’re not recording them and saving mementos, start now! Celebrate who your children have become through youth sports. For many of you whose kids are still small and have stopped, there are still life lessons that your kiddo hopefully picked up from his experience. You may be surprised at how well he remembers those later. If your child is older, then it’s time to stand back and see him for who he has become, not just for the sport. And be grateful for how sports contributed to maturation.

Since my kids are all done playing competitive sports, my “sports parent” label is gone. Yes, I cried a few tears when it ended, but I can honestly say that I am celebrating who they have become through their sports experiences, and I know that I will survive just fine without my label.

I guess I can hang on until the grandkids come along and start playing.

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach's wife, writes a sports parenting blog called JBM Thinks. She authored the Sports Parenting Survival Guide Series and has recently launched a podcasting series for sports parents. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.

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