There have been numerous studies conducted to find out what highly successful football players have in common. Besides the obvious – talent and hard work – a number of surprising conclusions have come to light. Atop of the list are how much support the athlete had at home and the high quality of coaching.

I work with young athletes every day in my office, and I always start by telling parents how impressed I am by their recognizing the value of mental training and bringing their young athletes to a performance coach such as me.

Winning championships, scholarships and even making a pro team are usually a team effort between the athlete, family and coaches.

The NFL is filled with stories of athletes who were blessed with tons of talent and moved up the ranks only to self-destruct before reaching their full potential – all because they didn’t have that support at home and didn’t learn how to be comfortable in their own skin.

Parents regularly ask how to best help young football players’ mental preparation. There is no cookie cutter mold for this as each athlete is different. The support offered to one individual can be exactly what is needed while to another cause confidence destruction.

But there are some universal principles that most young football players can benefit from:

Goal setting for athletes

This proven tactic goes for any age group. Learning the basics of committing yourself to a goal is a powerful life skill in addition to motivation toward putting in the work that’s necessary to succeed. Parents and coaches are invaluable for assisting young players for this.

Goals need to be specific and measurable, such as:

• Lead the team in tackles by the end of this season.
• Make the high school varsity team next season.
• Complete better than 50 percent of my passes all year.

Goals need to be tough but do-able. Don’t make them easy or impossible to achieve.

And they should have a deadline. Write them down and look at them often to fire yourself to put in the work to make them reality.

Encourage your athlete

It is the easiest thing to do and probably the best thing a parent or coach can do to boost confidence and morale, but how many actually do it? Once in blue moon telling athletes they are good isn’t enough. Parents and coaches should make it a point to communicate six positive and encouraging statements to every critical one. This ratio comes from a study that tracked measurable performance in a business environment for adults, so it’s possible that an even higher ratio would be recommended for children.

Don’t be afraid to offer that criticism as long as it’s done constructively and at the right time. Kids have told me hundreds of times they appreciate it when it comes across positively.

Let your athlete make most of his own decisions

I am constantly asked how much to push a child, and there is no definitive answer but,the extremes of micro-managing and not caring at all certainly don’t work. To find the sweet spot, ask: “What is the best way for me to support you?”

You can offer suggestions and let them pick if they say “I don’t know.”

Be an active listener

When an athlete has a disappointing or poor performance, it’s tempting for parents to offer how the problem should be fixed. Often, the best course of action is to simply acknowledge the athlete if he or she expresses the desire to talk in the first place.

Many athletes do better by working it out themselves. You can pick up a clue that they might need help if after a week or more they are still sulking about it. Even then, you must ask the athlete if he wants to talk about it. Now, if your child violates family rules or behavior, then certainly you can step in without that permission.

It can be a fine line parents walk, but always model what you want to see your kid do. I have witnessed some coaches with little sports qualifications do amazing things in youth sports by following these simple rules.

Always remember this: Only about 2 percent of high school athletes get an athletic scholarship, and most of those are partial scholarships, not full rides.

The main reason for sports participation at any age is to learn life skills. All of athletes can get that with proper parent and coach support.

Craig Sigl’s work with youth athletes has been featured on NBC TV and ESPN. Get his free ebook: “The 10 Commandments For a Great Sports Parent” and also a free training and .mp3 guided visualization to help young athletes perform under pressure by visiting: MentalToughnessTrainer.com