Every night before the pads go on and the coach calls the team to order, the boys on my son’s football team run about yelling, “JACKPOT ALIVE!” as they scramble around and bang into each other to be the one to catch the ball and collect 10 million fake dollars.

Or something.

I don’t know.

Don’t ask me to explain how Jackpot works. I’ll never understand it. Fortunately, no one needs to. 

Everything else I’ve got though.

Here's six things football moms need to know

Your kid doesn’t need a jock strap. Because, ew, they’re like thongs and no little people wear them anymore. Of course protecting the family jewels is still a necessity. Fortunately, modern science has come up with something called compression shorts. They fit like the biker shorts of the early '90s, wick sweat away from the body for less chaffing and general grossness and they have this little cutout up front for mom to slide the junk protector into. They’re magical.

There actually is crying in football. Coach and dad will say there isn’t, but they’re lying.

Player health and safety is taken seriously. Ten years ago, player safety wasn’t at the forefront of parents’ and coaches minds. Terms such as “bite the ball” were commonplace on the football field and “shake it off” was a legitimate treatment for a head injury. Now, you’re much more likely to hear “keep your head up” when your child goes in for a tackle, and if there is even a suspicion of a concussion, medical attention will be sought. That’s because a culture shift is occurring, one where parents, coaches and athletes are learning to play a better, safer game of football. More resources are available for coaches and parents, and there is an expectation that leagues will work to ensure the safety of their players.

Using football participation as a bribe is a legitimate parenting tool. Bad grades, no football. Smart mouth, no football. Hit brother in the head for no reason at all, no football. Football season is my favorite season of the year because it only takes two words (NO FOOTBALL) to get my children to do my bidding. And don’t even get me started on how well threatening to tell their coach something works!

When to run on the field. Wait for the signal from the coach or the kid. He doesn’t want you running out there, arms above your head, tears streaming down your face every time he gets a little wind knocked out of him. You will want to, and you may even seriously consider tackling another child to the ground and then sitting on him as payback, but you cannot. It’s really humiliating and kind of illegal, too.

Never leave home without a football. Football can be played anywhere that there are two Dudes and a patch of open space. Honestly, one dude will do and what qualifies as open space is debatable. Filled parking lot, grassy area packed with people about to watch the fireworks, sidelines of a soccer game while the soccer game is going on, my living room, my kitchen and my garage with the car inside have all been deemed “open space” fit for football playing.

Amanda Rodriguez is a humor and lifestyle blogger at DudeMom.com. In her free time, she enjoys losing weight easily, looking like a soap star the moment she rolls out of bed and riding around town on her unicorn. In addition to having a loose grip on reality, Amanda enjoys traveling to far off lands (or, not so far off lands) with her family and cheering herself hoarse on the sidelines of her sons’ games. The mom behind the blog is a former Teach for Americamiddle school language arts and social studies teacher turned stay-at-home-mom turned graduate student turned professional photographer, freelance writer, pro blogger, Zumba Fitness enthusiast and general director of awesomeness.