Young athletes don’t need more pressure than they already have

By Craig Sigl | Posted 5/5/2016

Thousands of times a day across the country, young football players wake up on game day with huge knots in their stomachs. As they go through pregame routines, tension and nervousness build, and thoughts run wild – turning to worry and real anxiety:

  • “I have to play well today.”
  • “I must have a good game to make my parents proud. They’ve spent so much money and time on me.”
  • “If I don’t play my best, Coach might bench me.”

Some young players develop headaches and other physical symptoms from this stress and have to bow out of a game right before it starts. Some grit their teeth and do their best to hide their inner turmoil. Most finish their events scratching their head in bewilderment as to why they can't perform in games like they do in practices.

Sometimes, anxiety increases to the point that players eventually can’t take it anymore, and they get sick, even throw up before taking the field.

This kind of unhealthy pressure has damaging consequences to young minds and bodies, sometimes setting them up for a lifetime of unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress.

In survey after survey, doctors report that a large percentage of all office visits are because of stress. So what do we do with our young athletes? We put more stress on them in a misguided attempt to “prepare them for the real world.”

I regularly work with young football players, and I’m here to tell you that there already is enough pressure and stress on them without adults adding more. The pressure on young athletes to come through with winning performances is much greater than in previous generations.

They get plenty of real world experience from their coaches, teammates and just trying to keep their ego and self-identification as football players intact. That’s all they need to learn to prepare for the adult world. Football is competitive enough without outside pressures.

Most parents are pretty good about cheering on their kids and not overtly adding stress, but even the best-intentioned moms and dads can do this in a number of ways without knowing it:

Any time a parent offers unsolicited advice about how to perform better – football dads are famous for this – can add stress. If you must do it, don’t do it right after the game, ask your kid if he even wants to hear it and watch your tone of voice.

Other things parents can watch out for:

  • Communicating disappointment in body posture or facial expressions
  • Hugging, holding and touching children in celebration of good performances and withhold from doing that after poor performances
  • Offering praise only after good performances

Kids and teens subconscious minds’ pick this up more than you would guess, and it destroys their sense of being accepted and loved by their parents. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard from kids that the most important thing in the world to them is making their parents proud.

Parents of young athletes must recognize that their number job is to support their kids by making sure that they clearly receive communication – often and with conviction – that their approval and love of their child is not dependent on how he or she performs in sports.

The irony of this whole thing is that when parents put this kind of pressure on their kids, it actually is more likely to hurt their performances. If you ask any sports psychologist what No. 1 issue issue holding all athletes back is, you will get the answer: performance anxiety.

Young athletes play their best when they play for the love of their sport and their own internal desire to challenge and improve themselves. Parents can help out by consistently pointing out and praising in your young athlete effort and what they do well and leave the criticism and coaching to the coaches.

Craig Sigl’s work with youth athletes has been featured on NBC TV and ESPN Sports Radio. Get his free ebook: “The 10 commandments for a great sports parent” and also a free .mp3 guided visualization to help young athletes perform under pressure by visiting: MentalToughnessTrainer.com

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