There are thousands of youth sports teams throughout the nation. How many of them are really doing “team” the right way?

As a sports mom, I have watched my kids play on more than 100 teams during the course of 21 years. It is sad for me to say, but many of them had no idea how to do “team” the right way.

What makes a good team? As a coach, there are certain team characteristics you should strive to nurture. As a parent, there is a type of team you should seek for your child to be a part of. Here is a list of some traits that effective teams embody.

“Team” won’t happen every season, but when it does, it’s almost magical.

• Good teams always believe in their kids, even when they are down. I’ve seen how belief empowers a child. When my son was a senior quarterback, he played a game that he would rather forget. It was rainy and muddy, and as a result, the offense was disastrously sluggish. My son feared he might lose his job. On Monday, the coach called him into his office and it wasn’t to replace him. Instead, he told my son that he believed in him and gave three reasons why he wanted my son to succeed. Knowing that his coach believed in him gave my son the strength to bounce back with an outstanding offensive performance in the next game.
   
• Good teams look for the positive. Talk about the positives and affirm the good in kids. Good teams don’t hold onto past mistakes. Good teams look for ways to help all kids succeed.
   
• Good teams know how to celebrate the small victories. Sometimes parents and coaches overlook small victories because they are too busy looking for the big stuff, like touchdown passes, winning goals, home runs, or game-high points scored. While it’s okay to rejoice in the larger successes, coaches and parents should never overlook the small victories. Good teams don’t forget to celebrate the small victories because good teams care about each individual as an individual, not just as part of the team.
   
• Good teams don’t take themselves too seriously. Youth sports are not life or death. Laughter during practice, at appropriate times, is a good thing. Hard work and fun can co-exist. Teams who take themselves too seriously, can’t tolerate some lightheartedness or laugh at their mistakes, are missing a lot of the fun that comes from being part of a team. It could even be argued that a team who laughs together, wins together.
   
• Good teams see potential in kids when no one else does. Every child has some skill or ability. The challenge is for the coach to find that skill and help the child develop it. A good team will be honest about kids’ skills, recognize that each player has unique gifts, and then help each player develop that ability.

Perhaps you are thinking this is a lot to ask of a coach. That’s why coaching kids is such a huge job. Coaches should not just be building teams to win, they should be developing humans to succeed and grow in character.

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach's wife, writes a sports parenting blog called JBM Thinks. Her new booklet, “11 Habits for Healthy and Positive Sports Parents,”is available on Amazon. She has a podcasting series for sports parents. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.