Learning good sportsmanship is not automatic. Parents and coaches must be intentional about teaching children and teens to develop a team player attitude. These suggestions will help instill good sportsmanship in young athletes:

1. Let your children learn to fight their own battles and grow from mistakes. 
2. Learn when to keep your mouth shut. Bite your tongue and let your child talk when he or she is ready. 
3. Stop worrying. It won’t help your child play better. 
4. Model what you want your kids to model to their teammates. If you trash talk teammates or coaches, your kids will most likely do the same. 
5. Let the coach be the coach, and you be the parent. Tips at home are OK when your child asks, but pushing your kids like a coach may cause tension in your relationship.
6. Give everyone – coaches, players, parents – a clean slate for the new season. Don’t hold grudges.
7. Be positive about tough situations. Being a Negative Nancy will only frustrate your kids and hurt your relationship with them.
8. Ref-bashing doesn’t change the calls and sets a poor example. 
9. Pick your fights. When moral or ethical issues are involved, there is a time and a place for your kids to know that you are on their side.
10. Love your kids no matter how they perform. If they had a bad game, they know it and don’t need any reminders from you. 
11. Respect their choices of when to play a sport and when to move on. If they don’t have the desire and motivation to play the game, it will be a season of battles and negative attitudes.
12. Support the whole team, not just your child. Cheer for the team and go to the games even when your kid isn’t playing. 
13. Remember that what is best for the team may not be what your child wants. He may not play the position he wants or get the playing time you want, but as he learns to be a team player he understands his role.
14. Avoid nagging and pushing your child. Stick with help and encouragement. 
15. Remember that you can’t fix everything. Sometimes you just have to let your child find his own way.
16. Keep your sense of humor. Find the fun and joy in your child’s game instead of worrying about playing time, how many yards he has or how bad the refs’ calls are.
17. Grow a thick skin. Turn a deaf ear to the ignorant and senseless remarks you hear in the stands or after a game. 
18. Love your child before the game. Express your support and love in such a way that has no strings attached to the upcoming game.
19. Make the car ride home a game-free zone. Don’t talk about the game, win or lose, unless the kids want to talk. Say something positive, then let it drop until they bring it up.
20. Have a life outside of sports. Enjoy other things with your kids that have nothing to do with sports. 
21. Always look for the best. Build up the good stuff you see in your kid. Appreciate the small victories.
22. Let your kids work hard. Don’t let them off the hook when they need to spend extra time practicing. Work with them until they are ready to stand on their own.
23. Let your kids fail. There are times when we can exhibit grace and love and step in to help in a tough situation, but more often than not, we must let our kids fail and get back up again.
24. Encourage your child to be a leader. Other kids look up to athletes, and they should take that responsibility seriously. 
25. Don’t support a victim mentality. Kids like to place the blame on someone else: refs, teammates, coaches. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and mistakes. 

Youth sports provides many opportunities for athletes to learn life-changing lessons. With your guidance, they can learn the true mean of good sportsmanship.

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach's wife, writes a sports parenting blog called JBM Thinks. She authored the Sports Parenting Survival Guide Series and has recently launched a podcasting series for sports parents. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.