When children get cut from the team, it’s hard to swallow for parents and kids. When my daughter got cut from a volleyball team, she was devastated, and for a few days there was sadness in the house.

But there can be a silver lining to every cloud. You just have to take the time to find it. What could that be? Consider this:

That disappointment might turn your child in another direction, one that is good.

When my daughter got cut from the travel volleyball team, she turned her focus to softball. This actually ended up being a good thing because she was more skilled in softball and actually ended up playing it through high school and college.

Here’s four ways for parents to help their children overcome the emotional trauma that sometimes comes with getting cut.

• If he works hard, he can come back next season. I’ve known many kids who were cut from a team only to come back and make it the next year because they continued working hard. I even knew of a team that cut a few kids, then allowed them on because a few weeks into the season, circumstances dictated that they needed more players. If your child has the fight in him, tell him not to give up.
• He will learn how to handle disappointments. If we could, we’d shield our children from all disappointments. But as parents, we know that it’s not the end of a child’s world when he gets cut from the team. At this point in his life, however, he probably does not understand that. As hard as it is to watch, you will see your child bounce back and come to realize that he can recover from disappointment, an important life skill.
• Look for other playing opportunities. If you look hard enough, you will find other avenues for playing, such as club and camps. If your child truly loves the sport, he will want to find ways to play, and who knows? Doing that could help him improve so much that he will come back stronger and maybe make the team next year.
• Let your child fight the battle. How should parents respond to the coaches’ decision when a child gets cut from the team? Let him speak for himself. If he really wants to know the reasons why, encourage him to talk to the coaches and ask: “Coach, I want to come back and make the team next year. What do I need to do to improve?” You going to bat for him to fight his battles will not do him any good. He needs to stand up for himself if he really wants it.

I understand that it is hard for moms and dads to watch their children get cut from the team. We are so protective of our children and want to make everything all better for them. 

But that’s not how they grow. Your love and support will go farther to helping him grow from this experience that he will if you go fighting for him to the coach or administrator. Coaches will be more impressed at his determination if he confronts them than if you do it for him.

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach's wife, writes a sports parenting blog called JBM Thinks. She authored the Sports Parenting Survival Guide Series and has recently launched a podcasting series for sports parents. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.