Some coaches see parents as an annoyance or a distraction at best. These adults, however, signed their children up to play football and can become a football team’s greatest allies if given the opportunity. It is up to coaches to bring them in.

Engaged, motivated parents who understand their roles and responsibilities can help solidify a support structure and go a long way toward building team morale.

Just as players set goals for each season, here are seven ways coaches can set expectations for a team’s parents early on:

• Introduce yourself. Parents are interested in what their children are learning and who they are learning it from. Take the time after practice to shake parents’ hands and talk to them. Not just at the first practice either. Lives get busy. Some moms and dads might not make it to the field until midseason. Just because a job or other responsibility keeps someone away most of the time doesn’t mean the child’s experience is any less important to that parent.
• Invite them in. When a team huddles at the end of practices, call the parents over to stand outside the circle and listen. Nothing coaches say to players should be outside the purview of their parents. And don’t be naive. Anything you say to the kids will get repeated at home anyway.
• Show leadership. Provide guidance to parents about how to communicate with their children about being part of a team. Whether it’s about sportsmanship, competition, equipment fitting or anything, parents influence their children’s enthusiasm and attitude. Set expectations for parents at games as well. Derogatory remarks against the other team or officials will not be tolerated by coaches or players, so they are off limits for parents, too.
• Set boundaries. Parents must know that while their opinions are valued, there is a time and place for conversations. The middle of practice or while the second quarter is starting are not appropriate times for a heart-to-heart. Let parents know that coaches are available to talk after the team breaks the final huddle, but be ready to adjust on the fly if a parent obviously won’t wait. Trust the assistants to run the team while the head coach calmly handles the situation.
• Teach them the game. Moms and dads don’t need to know blocking assignments or the difference between defensive fronts, but a basic understanding of the sport goes a long way. If a parent has a question, answer it. Set up one practice midseason when moms (and dads) can run a few plays from their children’s position. Education is always good.
• Keep them informed. Email is quick, easy and free. Set up a mass email system – your kid will show you how – to send weekly reminders about practice, games, fundraising and anything else. Letting parents have access to an email also can negate some of those post-practice conversations that keep coaches at the field for an extra hour.
• Rotate volunteers. Every parent should have a chance to coordinate snacks or activities. Team Moms can provide leadership, but spread the wealth a little bit. It makes everyone feel part of the team and gives parents a chance to say “thank you.”
• Keep kids first. Nothing spoils a youth sports experience like adults living out their dreams through youngsters. As a coach, be a leader and a teacher. Don’t take it personally when a child’s mistake costs a first down or even the game. They are trying, and they are learning. That play is in the past. There is no getting it back, so look forward. Likewise, encourage parents to offer encouragement to their children. A postgame hug from mom or dad will go a long way toward wiping away that fumble or missed tackle and get the kid mentally ready for next time.