Coming back from adversity is the hallmark of mental toughness. It’s no different than a baby trying to walk, falling down, and then getting back up again and again. While this concept is very simple concept to understand, it's not always so easy to do, especially for young football players.

Parents, not coaches, have the most influence over young players as to whether or not they will fall victim to defeatism or will bounce back from difficulty stronger than before.

If you want to see your child live and breathe resilience in football and life, here’s how you need to teach and model consistently:

Never, ever show or express your disappointment to your kid when he makes a mistake in a game or practice. In fact, when a kid makes a mistake, this is the most important time for you to teach resilience. There can be no hint of your disapproval of how he did anything on the field. Leave that to the coaches. Your job as a parent is to assist him to rebuild his confidence. Period. The only time you should be offering any guidance as to how he can play better is when the mistakes are long forgotten and the kid tells you he is interested in your opinion. Parents should always ask if it is wanted before ever offering sports advice, no matter how knowledgeable they are of the sport.

Make it a theme of your family’s values that failure is OK. Consistently use words to the effect of: “Ok, no problem, what can we learn from this and how are we a better person now because of it?” This is what most parents DON’T DO. Instead, they bash the kid over the head with their mistakes such as failing a test or forgetting to do a chore or responsibility around the house. Make no mistake, you are training your football player for mental toughness by how you manage things around the house and family. Print out various quotes from pro athletes about failure…there’s tons of them. Just do a simple search. Post the quotes on the refrigerator or somewhere where it will be seen.

Teach the child the proper adult perspective for when coaches are yelling at players. Listen, football is a high-energy, passionate game. Everyone’s emotions get easily triggered by events on the field. Kids regularly see and hear coaches and parents admonishing the kids by using a negative voice tone and choice of words. You, as a parent, have to counter that. You have to pound into their brain the true idea of WHY adults do that. The truth about that is, adults want to help the player get better, right? But what the kid hears is: “I’m no good.”

You want to teach them how to translate the coach’s (or even your) angry messagesso that it's always helping them and that the anger is just showing how important it is for the adult to help the player.

Resilience breads fearlessness which then opens the door to confidence. The key to making this happen for real and to be a life-time mental skill for your child is for YOU to be consistent in these teachings at the games and more importantly, at home.

Want to learn how to help young athletes build confidence? Get his free ebook: “The 10 Commandments For a Great Sports Parent” and also a free training and .mp3 guided visualization to help young athletes perform under pressure by visiting: http://MentalToughnessTrainer.com.